They come from pregnant semi-trucks. The truck pulls up to a birthing port at a Supermarket when it’s time. Then highly skilled Supermarket staff peel away the brown protective cover and place the baby cheezits on a shelf for you to adopt.
You even seen an old school ice machine? They run water over a cold waffle-looking plate, it freezes, and then the ice on the waffle falls and breaks into little squares.
Cheezits are made in machines like that. Liquid cheezit runs over the waffle, solidifies, falls off and breaks into little squares. The liquid itself is milked straight from domesticated cheezit emus. Ten to fifteen men die each year milking the emus to deliver the fresh taste of Cheezit to you.
Cheemus.
They’re made with real cheese; but they never tell you that it’s fromunda cheese.

It’s actually tree bark! Very few people know that though
They come from a vine like corn
What can I get Cheezits on the cob?
They’re a type of algae. They’re crunchy because they’re pressed into mats, dehydrated, seasoned, and baked. Surprisingly, the orange color is completely natural. Toxic if ingested over long periods, but natural.
They’re a legume. They grow in pods.
They grow like wheat Have you never seen a Cheeze-it thresher?
They use nets to collect them from the sea. Make sure your cheezits are dolphin safe.
Then how come in the Duoz boxes, they mix both the freshwater cheezits and the saltwater cheezits?
Freshwater cheezits are line caught, making them more costly to produce. The net caught ones are cheaper.
I think you can find “all freshwater” cheezits, but they’re going to be more expensive.
Brackish cheezits?
They’re paint scrapings from old red barns, that have been sunbleached orange. Gotta love that old lead taste 👍
They are dandruff, from a unicorn
cheezits are squeezits out of zeetits
I get mine from the store
Frozen milk from meteorites is unfrozen then pulverized to a cream and then baked with pure potato extract.







