Hmmm… I get the sentiment, and if you were just exaggerating a bit for comedy I get it. However… I just thought of something interesting about that comment.
We often say things like “a fate worse than death.” And we make assumptions of where we feel we would rather be dead than go through something like that.
But now imagine you were a rape survivor and someone did the hard work to get over that trauma. I wonder what would go through their head if they parsed that statement as, 'Don’t you wish they killed you instead of raped you and you were just dead right now instead of healed and alive?"
Social interaction is so so complex, I can hardly believe we manage it at all. Speaking as an autistic person that struggles with these nuances. Sometimes I just don’t understand the rules of what some people are going to find offensive or not, sometimes it seems so random to me because I can’t see all the variables I need to predict the outcome.
Edit: wait I just did it again didn’t I. Were you just saying,
“Eating them is less bad than a blowjob” which is a hilarious joke? I’m so bad at jokes 😭 I don’t miss every joke, but I probably miss most of them.
Ah but doesn’t that line of hypothetical thinking require the very very specific premise of the killer having a good reason and the rapist having a bad reason?
Now if those are the conditions, my brain goes ok!
Hypothetical accepted. Scenario: a child rapist is punished for raping children by a fellow prisoner who is feeling self righteous. The form of punishment he inflicts? Rape.
Is Rape worse than killing now? Also, I heard long ago that rape is more about power dynamics than sexual gratification. I don’t know if that changes anything.
So if something is part of a culture it becomes valid automatically? What if there’s a tribe in some village somewhere in the world that enforces arranged marriage between the oldest man in the village and the youngest girl in the village every time there is a blue moon. Or some other such example.
Does that change anything? When does culture become insufficient? Or culture is definitely the rule?
Not really. We’re just in a cultural turning point where we realize how bad rape is alongside with our definition of rape moving away from “horny pervert in ski mask found in easy to avoid dark alleys”, and even “drunken sex” is being shunned; but not everyone have moved on from it, especially in cases like this (at least prison rape of pedophiles are getting surpassed by shivs).
I gotcha, so your main goal here is just pointing out that cultures shift over time and we are in such a cultural shift at present and people should be cognizant of that fact. I definitely agree with that.
Not sure why I get down voted for trying to ask enough questions to understand something, but such is my autism. Used to it by now. Thanks for the chat, sorry it took that long. Social paradigms are very complicated to me.
I think that if you ask people that went through that kind of abuse as kids, you’ll realise that they never heal from it. When you know those people, you see that they either would have preferred to die, or made it happen.
Child abuse is horrible and generally not something that can be heal. That kind of abuse is even worse.
I mean that’s a pretty big claim in my mind. I’ve gotten over some pretty traumatic stuff myself. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I can honestly tell you I will claim I’m 100% at peace with my life now that I did all that work, and I honestly feel nothing but love for even my parents who were responsible for the horrific trauma.
So when you say that, my brain goes, ehhhhh I’m pretty sure all psychological damage can be undone with the correct psychological processes. It’s just a question of finding the right answer. Am I saying it’s likely or common? Absolutely not. But it’s possible. Now we just argue about what sliding scale we want to consider as statistically meaningful and a means of testing for that.
Even if it is theoretically possible to overcome it, I don’t think that it can be assumed that it’s the case for most people, and/or that they wouldn’t have preferred death.
Not minimising what you went through, but the specific kind of abuse I was targeting messes up a gigantic amount of things in the brain. You end up being fucked up on so many points that more often than not, it’s not possible to recover from.
I’ve known people struggle for years and years before just dying, and others struggle for decades with problems seeming to get worse rather than better.
Nowadays people try to make it look like it’s just one trauma amongst others, but for a lot (most?) of the victims, it’s a source of endless suffering and often makes their lives much worse than if they died instead.
And you’re not rambling, we’re just having a conversation, no worries. This is the internet, if I don’t want to read no one forces me to
Hmmm… I get the sentiment, and if you were just exaggerating a bit for comedy I get it. However… I just thought of something interesting about that comment.
We often say things like “a fate worse than death.” And we make assumptions of where we feel we would rather be dead than go through something like that.
But now imagine you were a rape survivor and someone did the hard work to get over that trauma. I wonder what would go through their head if they parsed that statement as, 'Don’t you wish they killed you instead of raped you and you were just dead right now instead of healed and alive?"
Social interaction is so so complex, I can hardly believe we manage it at all. Speaking as an autistic person that struggles with these nuances. Sometimes I just don’t understand the rules of what some people are going to find offensive or not, sometimes it seems so random to me because I can’t see all the variables I need to predict the outcome.
Edit: wait I just did it again didn’t I. Were you just saying, “Eating them is less bad than a blowjob” which is a hilarious joke? I’m so bad at jokes 😭 I don’t miss every joke, but I probably miss most of them.
I think rape is seen worse because of the meaninglessness of it.
There might be a reason to kill someone. Rape is just giving into your inner demons.
Ah but doesn’t that line of hypothetical thinking require the very very specific premise of the killer having a good reason and the rapist having a bad reason?
Now if those are the conditions, my brain goes ok!
Hypothetical accepted. Scenario: a child rapist is punished for raping children by a fellow prisoner who is feeling self righteous. The form of punishment he inflicts? Rape.
Is Rape worse than killing now? Also, I heard long ago that rape is more about power dynamics than sexual gratification. I don’t know if that changes anything.
Whatcha think?
That’s just rape culture.
So if something is part of a culture it becomes valid automatically? What if there’s a tribe in some village somewhere in the world that enforces arranged marriage between the oldest man in the village and the youngest girl in the village every time there is a blue moon. Or some other such example.
Does that change anything? When does culture become insufficient? Or culture is definitely the rule?
Not really. We’re just in a cultural turning point where we realize how bad rape is alongside with our definition of rape moving away from “horny pervert in ski mask found in easy to avoid dark alleys”, and even “drunken sex” is being shunned; but not everyone have moved on from it, especially in cases like this (at least prison rape of pedophiles are getting surpassed by shivs).
I gotcha, so your main goal here is just pointing out that cultures shift over time and we are in such a cultural shift at present and people should be cognizant of that fact. I definitely agree with that.
Not sure why I get down voted for trying to ask enough questions to understand something, but such is my autism. Used to it by now. Thanks for the chat, sorry it took that long. Social paradigms are very complicated to me.
I was not making a joke so you were on point.
I think that if you ask people that went through that kind of abuse as kids, you’ll realise that they never heal from it. When you know those people, you see that they either would have preferred to die, or made it happen.
Child abuse is horrible and generally not something that can be heal. That kind of abuse is even worse.
I mean that’s a pretty big claim in my mind. I’ve gotten over some pretty traumatic stuff myself. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I can honestly tell you I will claim I’m 100% at peace with my life now that I did all that work, and I honestly feel nothing but love for even my parents who were responsible for the horrific trauma.
So when you say that, my brain goes, ehhhhh I’m pretty sure all psychological damage can be undone with the correct psychological processes. It’s just a question of finding the right answer. Am I saying it’s likely or common? Absolutely not. But it’s possible. Now we just argue about what sliding scale we want to consider as statistically meaningful and a means of testing for that.
Sorry for rambling!
Even if it is theoretically possible to overcome it, I don’t think that it can be assumed that it’s the case for most people, and/or that they wouldn’t have preferred death.
Not minimising what you went through, but the specific kind of abuse I was targeting messes up a gigantic amount of things in the brain. You end up being fucked up on so many points that more often than not, it’s not possible to recover from.
I’ve known people struggle for years and years before just dying, and others struggle for decades with problems seeming to get worse rather than better.
Nowadays people try to make it look like it’s just one trauma amongst others, but for a lot (most?) of the victims, it’s a source of endless suffering and often makes their lives much worse than if they died instead.
And you’re not rambling, we’re just having a conversation, no worries. This is the internet, if I don’t want to read no one forces me to
♥️ I tend to be very very cautious when speaking now, autism has gotten me a lifetime of misunderstanding.