Coming from a world where the word itself is not even widely know, the idea of being raised as child without any explanations about the world or comforts to be held, scares me. I always heard on the internet of people leaving their religion as teenagers when they were raised by their parents religiously. Lots of people fall into existentialism, which makes sense to me
But what of a child. I am a very anxious person(as i have come to accept). Being told that there is nothing after death or that no one really knows, would have send me spiraling. That said, logically, people have done it(even if i can’t picture it) so i am also wondering how people/parents grappled with this and struggles they faced, what solutions they come up with
Also, on the opposite of the spectrum, what happens when your child converts(?) to a religion. Yes its there choice and all, but i cant imagine there being no resentment or conflicted feeling
You must log in or # to comment.
With logic and rational thinking instead of fear and magical thinking.
Sorry for the meta, but why is everyone downvoting what appears to be a sincere question coming from someone in a culture where religion predominates?
I agree with most of the replies here, but don’t understand the downvotes to asking the question.
I think the downvotes stem from his opening line that he has some special knowledge of “the word”. It implies out of the box that those who see the world differently than him just have a flaw in that they didn’t know “the word”. Nothing about his question needed the preamble that implied any other views than his are defective for lack of knowledge of “the word”. -edit for typo.
I think the downvotes stem from his opening line that he has some special knowledge of “the word”.
But I am atheist now? What I meant to say was that I grew up religious and its hard for me to imagine raising a child without religion, seeing as how that’s the one template I ever head.
I don’t know what world view you thought i had.
I never imagined I knew your world view. I was answering about why there’s so many down votes. Using the phrase, “the word” like there’s some special power to it is an off-putting marker for a lot of people. I did assume, like most, that when you said “the word” you were talking about Christianity. And specifically the New Testament.
I was referring to the “word” atheist. I meant to say that in my culture, people dont really talk about atheist as a thing. I have never met anyone else who left, so I can’t imagine raising kids without religion.
don’t understand the downvotes to asking the question
You and me both.
It was just a question that bothered me for a while. At times, Lemmy(and reddit more so) feel like you will hit a never without even knowing what it is.
You can explain everything about the world to a child by reason alone. And once they become rational themselves they’ll be able to determine that since there is no evidence at all for any god ever existing they can dispense with that fairytale.
As somebody who grew up without religion: I never really cared about all the metaphysical stuff. I was always interested in learning new things and wanted to understand how the world works. Yet that stuff never even brushed my mind to my knowledge. Maybe I asked my parents when I was smaller which I can’t remember anymore, but I definitely didn’t get anxiety over it. I accepted what I saw with my own eyes, that was enough for me. I don’t need something else besides this world.
And regarding their child converting: a cousins child is raised atheist and in elementary school got interested in Christianity since most of their class mates went to church. So the child asked the parents, they said: innour opinion there is nothing, but if you are interested, feel free to go to church to learn about their explanation. So that’s what they did and last I met the child, they weren’t a bible thumbed but still went to their religion class, so the result is not yet in.
I was raised atheist and I still am as an adult. Accepting the concept of death is just part of growing up, I guess. It’s not as big of a deal as it sounds like it would be. I think it keeps me more grounded, actually, but it really doesn’t gave a profound effect on my daily life and it never did. Believers who fuss over the idea or the difference seem kinda immature to me.
I think that if my son were to join a religion some day, my reaction would depend a lot on which religion. I think they’re all factually incorrect, but only some sects are morally wrong. If he joined the Unitarians, he could probably drag me to church occasionally, but if he joined a sect that made him condemn me for my beliefs, it would become difficult to stay close to him. That would hurt a lot.
without any explanations about the world or comforts to be held
Neither of these require religion.
I find more comfort in the real and tangible human experience. Most of us are caring and social creatures if we let ourselves be.
I think that framework encourages people to become compassionate and kind because they know it’s all we have.
At its best, religion adds a layer of coping which is not based in any reality. At its worst, it sets people on a path for alienation and seeing themselves and/or others as less than human (depending on the neuroses and likely trauma).
Dealing with no easy answers throughout your life can bring you to many existential questions and even depression at times but, as long as you have the strength/support/self care to keep and adapt your sense of self, you will be stronger for that introspection.
I choose growth.
are you saying “god” is a good explanation for the world?
why not tell them the truth? we dont know everything. when we die, unexplainable. thats literally just fact. you might have spiralled but it sounds like youre religious. so that isnt surprising.
But telling them about a god and eternal hellfire if you sin? thats the worst lie you could say
Maybe you grew up with so much anxiety due to religion itself? I’m the opposite, I live in an area which has almost no religious people and I feel everybody is very calm and friendly. Maybe the idea of eternal hell or heaven might be triggering that unconsciously in you
I was talking to a born-again about faith and she’s so worried about the people around her making a mistake and going to hell. And not in the evangelical sense of shouting about her Bible, but just an innate fear of bad things happening to her loved ones in the afterlife.
Yeah, I feel like Christians make a big deal out of life vs. death. Life is declared this super great thing that was gifted to them by their god. And death is described like an eternal departure into the unknown.
Meanwhile, if you view things in a much more mundane way, life is just your atoms jiggling about. It’s not particularly bad, when they stop jiggling together.
But even if you do prefer them being part of a pile that’s deemed ‘alive’, your left toe is probably gonna get eaten by a worm and brought into a field, where a plant will pick up the atoms and grow some seeds, which get carried by a bird into the next forest and so on. Your atoms will almost certainly be part of many alive piles of atoms going forward.
Sounds like you have difficulties of your own that you may want work on before concerning yourself with others.
You can’t help another sailboat if your own boat isn’t stable.
I highly recommend some Cognitive Behavioural Therapy - recognizing your own anxiety shows you at least have that awareness. Learning to reframe it will go a long way.
Going through life “as an anxious person” as if that’s unchangeable, is no way to live.
As someone with gad. Cbt was so helpful
I have found that children don’t need lies to comfort them. By nature, children are curious and crave understanding. It’s important for parents to respect that and equip them both with what we already know, and the skills to keep exploring. Engage with them, help them understand the questions, feed their innate sense of wonder. Eventually they’ll teach you a thing or two.
I find no comfort in implausible lies, and I feel a need to help my kids avoid that discomfort. I also want them to have agency in life, so they need to understand how such lies are used by society to try and control them.
There is actually no need to talk to children about gods. Those questions you imply only religion could answers usually don’t pop up in a childrens world except when brought in from external sources.
Well put. Religion’s answers may even stifle the child’s own inquisitive thought.
“the idea of being raised as child without any explanations about the world or comforts to be held, scares me.”
What a strange thing to say. What makes you think atheists do this? I tell my children what we know about the world, and what we don’t yet know. No need to make up anything short of Santa and the Tooth Fairy, but they grow out of this fast.
“Also, on the opposite of the spectrum, what happens when your child converts(?)”
I can only speak for myself, not atheists, but my kids are encouraged to make up their own minds. I take every opportunity to discuss religion and my kids even go to a catholic school. I consider it essential to understand history art and culture.
That said, they are very comfortable with atheism and they don’t find any of religion comforting, quite the opposite. It’s disturbing to them.
The joy of not knowing is discovery. I’d rather be told the truth that we don’t know, rather than being lied to in certainty.
…the idea of being raised as child without any explanations about the world or comforts to be held, scares me.
Your understanding of atheism is uhh, questionable.
To answer this question, the world was explained through science. Carl Sagan was the shit back then. Comforts are more tangible things like family or food rather than an imaginary “after”.
What would I tell a kid they must adore a guy who would burn entire cities and shit? I’d rather teach the kid tolerance.
