This is the most polite behaviour I’ve seen towards people blocking bike paths in Paris

SMOOGGGGGG

I try not to advertise my dating strategy

Step out and sing as loudly as you can “every body and every where! Shit your pants and underwear! With a shake and a jiggle, wiggle that turd like a fiddle!”

Plot twist: this was never a torture device, it’s just a story of the inventor going “go on, admit it, it feels good, don’t it?” that got blown way out of proportion

He’s in us all

This cuckoo has also flown over my brain nest

it’s like, all arbitrary, dude

I sure hope that was unsalted

Maybe they are you don’t know how hot they look

There is a recurring joke in many Addams Family iterations where they’re moon bathing to keep themselves pale. I tried searching for a picture but all I got was porn

Mullholand Drive was about two hot lesbians kissing. Dune was about Kyle MacLachlin trying to figure out a mystery through dreams. Twin Peaks was about Kyle MacLachlin becoming an oppressive tyrant with his newfound powers while consuming a beloved, addictive substance. What’s so hard to get about that?

Mr Burns, please, you’re crossing the line from everyday villainy to cartoonish super-villainy

I mean I missed the memo so thank you

The Hard Times are amazing for articles

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Man in a few million years that tweet is gonna look hella dumb

Beat me to it! I was gonna guess it as well. Purely by the HUD

Canadian avian on a Canadian mammalian

When they can’t remember which brown person said what