Him: “Darling, your eyes sparkle like stars in the cosmos! My love for you is eternal!”

Her: “Nngh!” ptttttthhhhhhhht PLOP

Unsurprised Musk is in there.

Which of Trump’s closeted mob was this?

Hmm. In Australia, there’s 11 and a half.

They don’t use it enough in the movies.

The Hand is still the safest way to not be squished … statistically speaking.

I’m just gonna put a happy little Bob Ross … right here.

Fry your flour in butter.

Even better, butter the outside too and fry the toast in it. Melts in your mouth! Makes a lot of smoke in the kitchen, but melts in your mouth.

Took a minute to understand the ‘m’ means ‘miles’ not meters.

Nope. Chuck Testa!

Or waiting for a tradie to turn up ‘some time between 7 and 5’.

I don’t see any Bear Spray …

That woman with the enormous hair has dozens of records in there.

Does that matter, given ICE doesn’t give a fuck about the law?

Carl

To show people they give one.

Wow! I hope your neighbour’s wife isn’t home when he’s away, what, with a monster like that in the house. She’d be fucked!

Paint them rainbow.

Officer who shot the suspect - “I feared for my life because it was possible the suspect was sitting down, calmy drinking a warm beverage”.