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Well how are you going to get rid of the ghosts if you don’t consume them? You pour it drain and now the drain is haunted and you have to hire a plumber who’s also a practicing priest. Its a very rare job description and I’ve only ever heard of one. He doesn’t come cheap. You’d think it’s a scam if it weren’t for the water ghosts.

I wanted to make a cheap joke about getting the ghosts out by boiling the hell out of it but I wound up in a rabbithole about supercritical water. It turns out you can boil the hell into water. With a lot of heat and pressure water can dissolve rock, oil and gas dissolve into the water easily, and if you put organic waste into really angry water that shit will burn. Underwater! It even destroys PFAS and prions!

Everything Nostradamus wrote was incredibly vague and 3797 was just when he claimed his visions ended, not that the world would end then.

1999, 2000, 2012, 2025, and 2026 have all also been interpreted as the end of the world according to Nostradamus. There’s your track record.

The main problem I’ve observed with zipper merging is nobody can seem to agree on what it is. People get aggressive when you try to use the available space on the road, and in discussions online it seems people think you’re trying to queue jump if you don’t merge as early as possible.

Tangential but nobody seems to know how to drive in traffic. Pick a lane and stay in it, leave extra following distance, and try to change speed as smoothly as possible. If everyone did these three things, traffic congestion would be significantly less severe.

Oddly when I ask people like this too many questions they find it difficult to explain their beliefs with any specificity. Questions like “what is energy,” or “how exactly does the tetractys connect to quantum physics,” or “how can we apply any of this knowledge in a falsifiable way?”

“Everybody pees too but if you’re doing it 50 times a day something is probably wrong”

Addicts often commit other crimes, but the addiction is a function of the exposure to (and therefore trafficking of by other people) addictive substances. Cops actually love to hassle addicts, so long as they’re homeless addicts. It hasn’t solved any problems. But tackling drug trafficking is scary and dangerous because it turns out drugs are profitable and traffickers have loads of money and power.

Benny Feldman is a stand up comic whose bread and butter is absurd one-liners

We made it lemmy

I hope I never lose someone close to me in a way that gets memed on. John Edward Jones was a father expecting a second child, a brother, a husband, and a son. He was trapped in the cave a few days before Thanksgiving. I can only imagine how horrible it was for his family.

I’m not usually one to moralize or care about the tastefulness of comedy but the memes about nutty putty do not feel good to see

flow as in menstrual flow, the literal volume of blood and mucosal lining from the uterus during a woman’s period

flow also as in lyrical flow, the use of rhythm and articulation in a rapper’s delivery

bar as in a measure of time in music, typically a four beat bar

spitting referring to the rapid and rhythmic delivery of words to a beat

If your [lyrical] flow is so heavy, why aren’t you [rapping]?

That trip is not free.

welcome to the timeline. we’re sorry you’re here

The moon is hollow, we know this because it rings like a bell when you hit it. There is no other possible explanation for this, certainly not one that’s actually more interesting than my unfounded assertion about the moon being made by aliens or whatever

And they only serve McBean on McToast 😔😔😔

i hate that my first thought was “where’s the ring”

I’m convinced that most marketing copy is ai generated these days.