• merc@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
      15·
      12 days ago

      Aside from doing it all over, can you imagine the horror of having all the skills, memory and mind of a fully mature person trapped in the body of a baby?

      • mtpender@piefed.socialEnglish
        13·
        12 days ago

        Can you imagine knowing that when you hit 35 you have a brain injury due to an A.V. malformation, almost die, wake up in hospital, become permanently disabled and have to learn to walk again?

        …Yeah…

          • mtpender@piefed.socialEnglish
            3·
            11 days ago

            From Google:

            “A brain arteriovenous malformation (AVM) is a rare, abnormal tangle of blood vessels connecting arteries and veins, bypassing normal brain tissue. It typically forms before birth and can cause seizures, headaches, or neurological issues, though many are asymptomatic until they rupture, causing a dangerous brain hemorrhage.”

      • Digit@lemmy.wtfEnglish
        4·
        12 days ago

        having all the skills, memory and mind of a fully mature person trapped in the body of a baby

        Trapped?

        I’d not be able to contain myself, and would speak, and ambulate, immediately… wowing people to such a spectacle… a talking dancing baby, who can espouse advanced philosophical notions, challenge people to reflect on their epistemology, and even warn of crooked ploys put upon the world. … Oh dear… I did not want to become a religious icon.

        I’m presuming the baby continues to grow up normally, and is not an eternal baby-body prison… and that “all the skills” includes psyche-motor skills. … And best of both worlds, able to learn like a baby too, vividly retaining near everything, contrast to old-man brain (where decades of toxin accumulation and stress have impaired neurogenesis and learning capacity).

        • merc@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
          4·
          11 days ago

          I’d not be able to contain myself, and would speak, and ambulate, immediately

          You might know how to speak with an adult’s vocal chords, or to walk with an adult’s body. I doubt you’d be able to do either with a tiny baby’s body.

            • merc@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
              1·
              10 days ago

              Yes, and as an adult I have no idea how to walk around as a baby, speak with a baby’s vocal chords, etc. The only body I’m used to using is my current adult body.

                • merc@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
                  12·
                  8 days ago

                  Yes, and as an adult I have no idea how to walk around as a baby, speak with a baby’s vocal chords, etc. The only body I’m used to using is my current adult body.

  • Tanis Nikana@lemmy.worldEnglish
    461·
    12 days ago

    I’m suddenly a 40-year old woman in the body of a baby boy. Overnight: the following things are true:

    • I’m in Japan. My English is borderline-perfect, once my face and throat can express it. It’s okay, I was born to white parents who are English speakers, but they didn’t raise me with English. We’ll see where this goes in my new life.
    • My wife, who I’ve fallen asleep to every night, is now 3-year old kid in Illinois. I will miss her deeply and I cannot even grieve without arousing suspicion. Her existence at this point in her life is miserable. I know what she’s suffering through and which address she’s suffering at. Even if I went to go see her, she wouldn’t know who I am. I don’t look like me. She also hasn’t met me yet.
    • I know full well that I’m trans and I know that my mother and father are hostile to such notions, and I know there’s nothing I can even do at that point in time.
    • Everything I have read, watched, and played doesn’t exist yet. There’s embedded cultural touchstones that I reference that don’t exist yet. I’m also a baby.
    • Most of my favorite music doesn’t exist yet. I will hum songs by Hitorie, The Beths, South Arcade, Battle Tapes, and Emi Nakamura under my breath decades before they’re written. This is a problem.
    • The technology I use to make my art doesn’t exist yet. Digital cameras at the turn of the millennium were ass.
    • I’m still 40. I can’t pursue my hobbies and works. I can’t take pictures (yet). DSLRs don’t exist.
    • One of my two strokes gets undone. My body moves somewhat easier. However, I still think and interact with the world like I’ve had two.
    • The house I’m living in now hasn’t been built yet then.

    In summary, endless culture shock. I would panic forever. My life would immediately be one of those television shows where suspicion keeps mounting against the main character and there’s jack shit anyone can do to stop it.

    I suppose I could tell her that in sixteen years, 9/11 is happening and what transpires, down to Kevin Cosgrove’s phone call. She’d panic and try to contact the feds, and I’d just say that Bush already knows. It’s in the commission report that doesn’t exist yet.

    That might actually radicalize them…

      • Tanis Nikana@lemmy.worldEnglish
        4·
        11 days ago

        Oh, well then, I’d still be grieving my wife, who doesn’t know where I’m at, and my parents in their seventies will be freaked.

        • Jarix@lemmy.worldEnglish
          5·
          11 days ago

          Well it says all skills and memories so just explain it to them and hope for the best!.

          Uh hello wifey I’m a talking infant. I guarantee this is weirder for me than it is for you.

          Okay you need to understand I just got isekai’d but not in the fun way… you are going to have to teach my parents what isekai is. Then we tell them together.

          Edit is italics “for clarity of intent”

      • StillAlive@piefed.worldEnglish
        2·
        11 days ago

        That’s even worse.

        I have to relive all my life so far on a planet with worsening climate change? I’d kill myself as soon as possible.

  • tacosanonymous@mander.xyzEnglish
    381·
    12 days ago

    The way I’m reading this is that I’m turned into a baby in this moment. Why is it everyone else is assuming time travel?

    • Cethin@lemmy.zipEnglish
      8·
      12 days ago

      Your option means to probably just die. Assuming it’s a 0 second old baby, you’re not going to be able to take care of yourself or move around to get help. You’ll just lie there and starve. Traveling back to your birth means you’re with your parents.

    • Digit@lemmy.wtfEnglish
      6·
      12 days ago

      I think because of the idiomatic

      What would you do with a second chance?

    • WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.todayEnglish
      2·
      11 days ago

      Would be fucking stupid if you just got babified? You could hardly even move, and no one around to take care of you, adults don’t take you seriously no matter what, you have to get a new ID, and start life from zero. The ONLY advantage is pristine health and a bit longer before you are old.

  • Glytch@lemmy.worldEnglish
    28·
    12 days ago

    Depends on if it’s de-aging or time travel.

    If I’m just de-aged and left in the present I would try and become a real life Baby Herman from Roger Rabbit and go into comedy.

    If it’s time travel I’d try not to make the same mistakes but then end up making all different ones and ruining my life in new and interesting ways.

    • boonhet@sopuli.xyzEnglish
      11·
      12 days ago

      Yeah if I’m a baby in 2026 with my 2026 skills and knowledge, it’s not particularly useful because I don’t want to start literally working as a newborn and in 20 years my skillset might not be as relevant anymore. Not to mention the whole “oh buy a bunch of Bitcoin” thing ain’t gonna work if it’s already at (whatever it is now).

  • rizzothesmall@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    24·
    12 days ago

    Genuinely?

    I’d not be such a tremendous cringey dork as a kid.

    I would not latch onto that one girl who did not give a shit about me.

    I would fully avoid the one girl who did like me but then completely fucked me up.

    I would move out of my toxic dickhead dad’s house before he got my bedroom raided by police.

    I’d buy a load of bitcoin when I saw it for like 12p and thought “nah, that’s just for criminals, I don’t want to be associated with that”

    But then…

    If I can’t achieve those things while also meeting my wife and having the exact same kids that I have now then I would honestly not change a damn thing. Scars and all.

  • Cypher@aussie.zoneEnglish
    19·
    12 days ago

    I would rule the playground with my knowledge of Pokemon and distribute Mew to those whose dex languishes at 150.

    • T. Hex@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
      11·
      12 days ago

      Imagine how creepy that would be from her perspective. Someone shows up and is trying a little too hard to be friends, that’s weird but ok. But now they know things about me that I never told them. Eek!

      • captainlezbian@lemmy.worldEnglish
        4·
        12 days ago

        “Hey, I know you’re just some 20 year old college student, but have you ever considered that you might be a lesbian?” Coming from an 18 year old who is clearly pleading for this all to go better than she’s had nightmares of and is unwilling to wait another 6 years to meet you in a dungeon.

        Alternatively I do wait, but I’m no longer the kind of fucked up I was then. What began with us being in a similar emotional state and thriving on the raw honesty of “hey, I just got out of a relationship that went sour because I realized what I needed, so I’m probably not ready for a relationship, but know what I want” being “hey, I know way too much about you and am actively desperate for you specifically, but I love you so please give me a chance.”

    • Digit@lemmy.wtfEnglish
      2·
      12 days ago

      I already did that this time around. Lost the love of my life from my fumble.

      … This next time though… :D

      • captainlezbian@lemmy.worldEnglish
        2·
        11 days ago

        The good news is I actually don’t believe there’s any one soul mate. Were I to actually find myself in that position I very likely would get over her in high school or something and move to resolve my other issues with life, get my shit together younger, come out at a young age, study more, get into a better school, pick a better major, push my mom to get her headaches checked out sooner… with all that, I’d probably be able to leave Ohio sooner and possibly before I would meet her. But also who would I be then? I certainly wouldn’t date my ex, (and thus might end up homeless after college if I don’t get my shit together earlier), and so I wouldn’t be able to bond over our similar exes. We wouldn’t be able to grow together in the same ways, and so even if we did find each other again she’d become someone different and so would I and I’d still be haunted by memories of a different her.

        Also we aren’t monogamous and so I definitely wouldn’t be waiting for her. So there’s a good chance I’d find someone else and marry her. It would be deeply unfair and unwise to self destructively chase after a woman with whom my early relationship involved a lot of making sure we’d both be ok if the other left (we both had bad histories with people attempting codependence and so we forced ourselves into a secure attachment style from my anxious-disorganized and her avoidant).

        So yeah soul mates aren’t real, but wonderful loving long term relationships are.

  • Th4tGuyII@fedia.io
    11·
    12 days ago
    1. Buy into Bitcoin while its young
    2. Become a Crypto Bro, shilling to hell and back
    3. ???
    4. Become Billionaire
  • applebusch@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    11·
    12 days ago

    well if we’re talking newborn I would freak out the butcher who circumcized me by telling him in perfect english I don’t consent to this. I don’t know if I could realistically get out of it but I would try.

    I would now be a baby with the full knowledge of a graduate engineering degree and several years of industry experience, and the knowledge that I’m a trans woman, bi, and neurodivergent.

    School would be a tragically boring breeze, and I would probably try to get into some accelerated “child prodigy” academic program so I could get through it quicker. One of the ones where you start college when other people are starting high school. By this point I would have started male puberty, so priority number one would be to go to the campus doctor and start my hormonal transition. It would frankly be amazing to go through only female puberty, and at roughly the right age even. I could expect to end up much more feminine since the skeletal changes are still possible at that age and I wouldn’t have had the full effect of male puberty on my face.

    I would take my time at college, still study engineering but make it easy on myself, enjoy being a college girl for a while, have my slut phase while I’m still young. Idk how far I would go with it but I would probably study something new, probably get at least a masters again. A PhD would still be way too much work for me.

    After graduating it would just be normal life again, but with the body I’ve always wanted and a little head start in life, as opposed to being really behind like I am now. Maybe I’d even be treated better by my parents, being born with more emotional maturity than they’ve ever had, and with a mind even older than they were when I was born. I still wouldn’t trust or like them. They’d still be bigots and religious weirdos. But maybe having a seemingly prodigal child who outperforms their wildest dreams might make them at least be nicer to me.

    • tigeruppercut@lemmy.zipEnglish
      2·
      11 days ago

      School would be a tragically boring breeze

      Damn, math and science came easy to you? I could barely get through geometry and physics at the time, let alone decades down the road. I’d have to relearn all that shit just to barely pass those classes again.

      • applebusch@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
        3·
        11 days ago

        I mean I wouldn’t say it was easy, but I use math and physics heavily at work so I haven’t gotten rusty and I understand their value. If I had to go through math courses again it would more be tedious review and busy work than a challenge learning something for the first time. If someone thought it was the first time that might look like crazy raw talent. Learning to write cursive again would be much harder than math lol.

        • WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.todayEnglish
          1·
          11 days ago

          You would have the neuroplasticity of a child, with the knowledge of an adult. You would experience things MUCH differently, which you may not remember, but I do…you would also learn very fast, and the skillsets you already have would only boost that a lot.

          You would actually be borderline superhuman.

  • Kaligalis@lemmy.worldEnglish
    10·
    12 days ago

    I would definitely avoid some mistakes and start saving early. If this also involves time travel, I mine Bitcoins and keep them.