Mine:
- Learn a second language and keep up with the language your parents speak. You will regret being a brat about not wanting to speak this language especially as your family members pass.
- The only opinions about you that really matter are from the people you respect and who respect you back
- Being a kind humble person, who leads their political convictions with curiosity and not self righteousness is important. As that one person said: “I am no hero and neither are you.”
- Don’t throw out your old media (mix cds, tapes, records, photos, zinee, etc) because you think they’re embarrassing. They either will not be embarrassing later or they will become expensive and you can tell them for mad bucks.
Does anyone have advice specific to adhd or neurodivergence in general? Things you found helped you that took time to realise?
Be honest with yourself about your social battery. If a friend wants to watch a movie I try and tell them if I’m Down to hang and watch a movie so long as it’s okay that I don’t give it my undivided attention (aka are we gonna watch a slapstick comedy where I can check my phone or draw while watching or are we putting on Schindler’s list).
Being honest with my friends and partner as to where my focusing levels are at has saved a lot of conflict and has made people feel more respected (from what they’ve told me!)
Exercise and eating right actually do help. It’s just really hard to do without meds for me
It seems obvious now, but it took me too long to realize I don’t have issues focusing on things, I just have a hard time focusing on things I’m not interested in. I was a terrible student in grade school and took some time off after I graduated before going to university. That time away allowed me to mature and gain the discipline I needed to get through the stuff I wasn’t interested in. I then breezed through my major because I loved it.
Don’t spend as much energy on trying to improve the things that you’re bad at. Figure out your strengths and lean into them.
If you have ADHD, get medicated. While it’s no replacement for good habits, it makes starting those good habits SO much easier. I wish I had started taking it 15 years sooner.
If you also have ASD, a lot of people aren’t going to understand you. The way you view the world is different. Be kind and be true to yourself and you’ll meet lots of people who appreciate your difference.
Spending time being doing nothing actually helps your focus later, boredom is good for you and actually promotes creativity.
Don’t multitask, you’ll just end up half-assing every task.
If you have the means, see a psychologist who specializes working with people who are neurodivergent. It will greatly improve your communication skills. If you’re in a serious relationship, get couples counseling even if things are going great. This will help you break down any communication barriers before they have the opportunity to become resentment.
I could keep adding to this list, but having an exercise routine is probably one of the best things I did to improve my focus. Plus I also get the long term health benefits of strength training.
These are good.