Do you expect, or even hope to die…

Yes! Definitely… Yes! Every damn day, yes!! And, no, I haven’t been trying to force that for a long while and I doubt I would try again… but, oh, I never stopped longing for Mother’s talons…

Do you expect, or even hope to die alone?

I’d hope for said loneliness because it allows for a better acceptance of Death Herself, but I don’t expect that loneliness given I’m constantly surrounded by… well, people.

But, then, death is a unique, subjective experience. A person can die amidst the center of a busy metropolitan city during a Monday, a person can die inside a very populated subway, or inside a World Cup stadium: sure the person would be said to be far from alone in each of those hypothetical situations, yet none of the hundred/thousand/million other people are truly there, with the dying person.

People are too busy with their mundane affairs, trying to keep up with the imposed instinct of survival. These people, even the paramedics, can be trying to “save” the dying person, trying to reanimate them, but the minds of these people will be always somewhere else: “My employer wants me to solve that client’s case”, “My spouse wants me to sell the house”, “My car insurance company wants me to upgrade my car’s alarm system”, “My daughter’s teacher wants me to buy a new set of books for her”, “the director of the hospital wants me to keep using this broken defibrillator and this expired IV epinephrine” … Even when faced by Death Herself, we can’t help ourselves but keep thinking of pesky mundane affairs. So, no, these people would be anything but present people.

We all die alone. That’s a fact, that’s the only certainty besides the certainty of the unavoidable meeting with Death Herself. And sincerely? It’s way better dying truly alone, just me before the haunting mighty of Death Herself, instead of having biological avatars surrounding my dying avatar like wannabe-vultures waiting for a fresh carcass while I take my last breaths.

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