Do you ever catch yourself reacting to things the exact way your parents did, even when you don’t want to?
I’ve noticed impatience and snapping at small stuff in myself lately, and it lines up with patterns I grew up around. Knowing where it came from hasn’t been enough to actually stop it in the moment.
How did you actually change an inherited reaction pattern, not just understand it, but genuinely respond differently next time?
I grew up with a mom that was NEVER wrong.
If I pointed out she was wrong, there was always an excuse. “Well, YOU should have said this, or you made me do that.”
And because of her need to look infallible all the time, I learned to hide mistakes, blame others, and never let anyone know you aren’t perfect.
And so, when I first had kids, I instinctively continued to do as I was taught. Once day I realized what I was doing and thought about how it made me feel when I was a kid, and decided I didn’t want to do the same thing to them.
It wasn’t “as easy as that” and there were many times I caught myself doing it, but when I did, I apologized and admitted my mistake.
I’d rather they learn how to accept responsibility for their actions than learn how to place blame on others.
thanks sir