Whether intentionally or not, what do movies depict or present wrong a lot of the time?
How big a house an average person can afford.
Another version of this - how big an apartment/house an artist can afford.
Not if you presume they have rich parents.
Yes, and how nice it is, and how ckean it is, and how littke their csr breaks down and how sparkly and well maintained or their workplsce is, or how brilliant their job is despite being an “average, underdog hero”
How big a house an average person can afford doesn’t necessarily precisely track how big a house the average person actually purchases, mind.
I’m so very sorry I set off your well technically trigger.
The relaxed position of mammalian eyelids leaves them open. Muscles must contract for the eyes to be shut. Dead creatures cannot contract their muscles so their eyes remain open after they die.
You cannot shut their eyes for them by closing their eyes with your hand. Morticians place contacts in cadaver’s eyes while preparing the body for a wake. Those contacts grip the inside of the eyelids so that they remain closed.
This is why some cultures have funerary traditions in which objects are placed over the eyes.
TL;DR: you and your loved ones won’t close their eyes when they die.
This is a really big one. I have to revise all of my heroic self insert fantasies where i cover up a dead person’s eyes
Like when you’re at the bank and a bank robber shoots a bunch of people and then you jump out from cover and start covering all the corpses eyes super fast.
I don’t remember well if it was NakedGun, Loaded Weapon or Hot Shots where the eyes of a body stayed open until it was hit in the face.
Getting hit on the head and staying unconscious for an extended period of time.
No… No that’s not how that shit works. If you’re hit on the head so hard that you are lying on the ground limp, you’re either dead, dying, or have received sever brain damage.
No that’s not how that shit works
sh.itjust.works
Cops being the good guys.
Imagine an evil terrorist organization coming into the picture, and it’s up to REAL COPS to stop them.
And like real cops, they end up taking a detour to Walmart, where a woman was accused of stealing so they pull out their guns and kill a baby.
Oh is this too real? My bad.
Honestly, watch any crime documentary and you realize how often cops are absolutely incompetent.
Wow, that’s a pretty sweeping statement. I know some cops, and let me tell you, I don’t need to watch a documentary to know that they are incompetent.
I like watching suspect interviews, all the cops follow the same script, if people would just shut up and ask for the lawyer far fewer crimes would be solved.
I tell my kids to treat cops like vampires, never let them in the house and sticking to your rights is garlic to them.
Cops are your friend (remember we’re talking to children here) up until the moment you are accused of a crime. If they think you’re involved in something, stop talking and ask for a lawyer!
Nah, cops are not your friend, I’m a 50 something white male, I have called the cops 3 times in my life.
When I was 15 I found a guitar in the woods, cop did everything he could to pin the theft on me, even searched my house.
Late 30s some kid stole my sons bike, we knew who did it but the cops just said well we didn’t see it happen so we can’t do anything.
At 50 a friend attempted suicide, I called an ambulance, cops got there first, walked right past my unconscious friend and started poking around the house.
I raised my kids to stay out of trouble and stay away from cops.
Fair enough. Keep the dogs in and the cops out!
I think they were basically as decent as possible in The Perfect Neighbor, unfortunately. I could be wrong, though.
Nah you’re probably not wrong haha. I’m sure there are good examples. But for the most part all I hear and watch is absolutely terrible detective and police work.
Hacking/computer programming. They type wildly fast while shouting things.
Most of it looks like this but infront of a monitor, scrolling the wheel occasionally.
The good guy winning.
Getting knocked unconscious.
Loudness of gunshots. Every action hero would be deaf.
Archers being told to “hold”. Nobody’s holding a +100lbs warbow.
Sprinklers. In the vast majority of cases they react to heat - not smoke. They only go off individually rather than all at once and the water inside the pipes is black ink-like rust water sludge, not clear tap water.
Also another plumbing related: you don’t need a huge wrench under the sink and drains are not pressurized so there’s no water spraying anywhere when you mess with the p-trap.
Also archers being told to “fire”
as firing didn’t exist until gunpowder, the instruction wouldn’t make sense. Like telling a soldier now to “activate the positronic tacyons!” instead of “fire”
Loose!
Also they didn’t really do massive coordinated volleys
the classic : no cleanup after sex
Also how everyone is like wrapping their entire body up in sheets to get up from the bed. As if they weren’t literally just fucking lol
This made one scene in the Fallout TV series very effective.
Yes and i think this would be a healthy thing to show.
Absolutely.
characters awkwardly rolling up toilet paper and changing the bedsheets for 10 minutes
Sex and relationships in action movies.
The whole “hot chick gets horny for the hero after a traumatizing couple of hours” thing gives a pretty messed up view of relationship building.
Or as comedian Kyle Kincaid said, the idea that the action hero could still get it up.
I remember Speed made a joke about this at the end. A crack about “Relationships built on life threatening traumas don’t last” or something lol
And it was proven by Speed 2 I guess.
This one definitely turned me off the first Terminator movie. I mean I know it’s critical to the plot but it still makes me roll my eyes.
The 80s and 90s were rife with that trope. I don’t know if modern action flicks are as bad.
Running over a cliff and only start to fall once realizing that you just ran over a cliff.
That’s not real, you fall immediately.
Have you ever tried?? I think it could be real
*points a finger at Loony Tunes for starting it*
Romantic relationships. Way too much stalking and abuse of power. Far too many very large age gaps. All that stuff.
The age gap thing is gross. We need to get some of these people in a cold shower.
Find me a romantic comedy that doesn’t depict either of the two leads being psychotic or felonious.
Hacking.
I want a realistic hacking movie, and I know how it should be done:
In plot, it needs to be an ensemble cast heist movie a la Ocean’s Eleven. But it should have a “this isn’t serious” tone similar to Down Periscope. Because it’s about a penetration testing company. They’re hired to do a full physical and digital security audit on some large company, so then we follow the crew of law abiding computer nerds and burglars as they plan and perpetrate a series of hacks and attacks on this company.
The stakes if they get caught are they hand a letter of authorization to the security team, say “good job” and report to the company that hired them that their security in that department is good, so even though they’re taking their job seriously there isn’t really any tension and they maintain a goofy sense of humor.
And you’re in luck, Jayson Street and Deviant Ollam have already pretty much entirely written this, just watch their defcon talks. Get those two guys on either side of a coffee table with a bottle of fine whiskey and you’ll have your screenplay before the bottle’s empty.
It’ll never get made though because Master Lock would sue you for even trying. You couldn’t make it without completely obliterating Master Lock.
That’s probably just a fancy gui skin over a boring port scanner and a bash script testing some 0 days.
$ apt show hollywood Package: hollywood Version: 1.21-1.1 Priority: optional Section: games Maintainer: Dustin Kirkland <[email protected]> Installed-Size: 2,418 kB Depends: byobu, tmux Recommends: apg, atop, bmon, bsdextrautils, ccze, cmatrix, htop, jp2a, plocate | locate, moreutils, openssh-client, speedometer, tree Homepage: https://hollywood.computer/ Download-Size: 2,288 kB APT-Sources: http://ftp.us.debian.org/debian trixie/main amd64 Packages Description: fill your console with Hollywood melodrama technobabble This utility will split your console into a multiple panes of genuine technobabble, perfectly suitable for any Hollywood geek melodrama. It is particularly suitable on any number of computer consoles in the background of any excellent schlock technothriller.
Giving birth. In movies and TV shows it’s always this sudden thing. Like “My water broke! The baby is coming!” then there is some pushing and screaming and bam, baby. In reality, having a baby takes many many hours and often times days, even with induced labor.
Yeah
Hacking.
tap tap tap I’m in.
Honourable mention is NCIS Dual keyboard
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8qgehH3kEQYears back, I remember watching the Wargames scene where the computer was trying to “guess a passcode”. Which it was doing remotely. Determining one digit at a time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGNBdjVO04Y
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7qOV8xonfY
I said, “This is completely ridiculous. That’s not how any kind of real world authentication system works.” Dramatic, yes. Realistic? No, never happen.
Some years later, there was a severe remote exploit for the filesharing feature for Windows 95 and 98 systems. Not only had the Microsoft person who designed the thing stored the password to a share in plaintext instead of hashing it, which would have precluded this from working, but there was also a bug where the server’s authentication system could be sent a malformed message and only validated as many bytes of the password as had been specified in the authentication message. Someone promptly went out and wrote an exploit to brute-force access to a share by just asking it to only validate the first byte, try each, get in in at most 256 tries. I look at that and say “yeah, but it also exposes the next byte of the password itself, and those probably persist even after the thing is patched, not to mention the potential for credentials reuse for other things”. I go modify Samba’s smbclient to iterate through the thing, extract the password one byte at a time. I message a buddy who has a Windows 98 machine on the network, “hey, can I break into your machine for a sec?” He comes up “Uh, okay. What are you up to, tal?”
I fire it up and we’re sitting there watching his password be printed on my Linux box’s screen, one letter at a time. I said, “This is exactly like that scene in Wargames that I said could never, ever happen in real life, was just Hollywood. Guess that showed me.” He says, “fucking Microsoft”.
Honourable mention is NCIS Dual keyboard
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8qgehH3kEQTop hacking scene of all time!
I somehow didn’t see that episode. But now that I’ve seen that scene, it is certainly one of the all time UNIXest of Systems
There’s something called FSN for file systems, and this here is a guide to make it work like the IRIX system in the movie. https://github.com/unixmonkey/fsn_jurassic_park
I think that’s just WAY too cool. :D
Cute Asian girl with green hair and a side ponytail: “I’m in!”
Six keystrokes later: “Ok I pulled up the floor plans to the building, disabled the cameras and unlocked all the doors.”
That’s the gold standard for hacking, by far. But this also deserves a mention for pushing the bounds of technology, way ahead of it’s time: https://youtu.be/fQGbXmkSArs
Thank you for this nugget of GLORIOUS stupidity!
You may enjoy the full 30 min movie: https://youtu.be/bS5P_LAqiVg
It’s a goldmine of insanity!
I belive I might just!
Thank you again
FYI the ?is= part of the yt link is extra tracking data for google. You can drop it and the link still works
Righto, fixed it. Thanks!
that’s a lot of cuts
Not as many as what’s his face jumping a fence in one of the Taken films.
what’s his face
Leapin’ Neeson!
One man’s Linux is another man’s OS/2.
