I guess at the end I’m more agnostic rather than atheist, in this aspect.

I don’t like how agnostic and atheist have been used. Atheist means a lack of belief in a god. Anti-theist is the active belief there isn’t one. Agnostic is someone who knows that they cannot know if there’s a god. Agnostic atheist is someone who knows they can’t know if there’s a god and lacks the belief in one.

Agnostic is not the same claim as atheist or theist. It is a claim on the ability to know something, not on the beliefs that person holds. A gnostic atheist is the same as an Anti-theist. They think they can know there isn’t a god. The inverse for a gnostic theist. You can also be an agnostic theist, who doesn’t think it can be known, but they still believe.