「黃家駒 Wong Ka Kui」(old account, migrated to Piefed)

Permanently migrating to Piefed because sh.itjust.works has too much federation issues… (apparantly: sh.itjust.works = sh.it doesn’t really.work 😕)

Current Main Account: @[email protected]

Other Alt: @[email protected]

  • 245 Posts
  • 2.94K Comments
Joined 11 months ago
cake
Cake day: June 23rd, 2025

help-circle

  • China is a big place. Saturation with security cameras is an urban thing.

    Yea that incident was in Guangzhou, I assume nowadays its probably filled with surveillance cameras.

    Also, something I’ve learned in America is that people make a lot of noise about keeping kids safe, but that’s all just smoke. I can’t speak for China

    China might not have guns and mass shootings, but domestic abuse is an issue that the law doesn’t really touch on, especially is its more covert like verbal abuse or even physical violence if it didn’t cause serious harm…

    Especially if its not a spouse-on-spouse thing but its a parent against a child…

    Like there are things that would trigger a CPS investigation in the US that in China they wouldn’t do much about, cuz its just treated as “discipline” and its “family matters” and legal system isn’t touching this.

    I think my parents fear of CPS is why once we arrived in the US, they stopped with their um… ahem “disciplinary actions” against me.

    (Also maybe cuz I got older and can sort of fight back??? Maybe 🤷‍♂️)

    (I actually cant even remember a specific instance of my mom hitting me anymore… must been a repressed memeory by now, but I’m pretty sure it happened)

    Also teachers have meter sticks to hit kida with…

    Okay its not a beating, but I remember like you had to put your hands out and then the teacher slapped your hands with the ruler…

    Dont remember what for… maybe “behavior problems”?

    Or perhaps poor grade is also one of the things… idk, memory in 1st and 2nd grade isn’t exactly flawless…

    But corporal punishment seems very acceptable in China…

    Saw a movie recently about Taiwan’s education system (not the main story, but the backdrop of the plot, main movie was about Taiwanese Americans moving back to Taiwan), and in the plot, the parents encouraged the teacher to use the ruler thing as a form of discipline… wtf… that was actually the thing that jogged my memories…

    (The point being, same culture, even being politically divided and with a different government, the culture is same… adults just get to do whatever as “discipline”)




  • xD

    Since I got summoned by a @ , gonna infodump cuz why not lol:

    Funny enough now that my mom went to China for a 1-month visit, and now it’s like 1 week in and I feel so sad about her absense from home…

    The house feels so much more depressing… :/

    I mean I guess this is a sort of “trial run” of what her eventual death would feel like…

    Like… now I can call her… cuz now its just separated by an ocean, in this era, we have instantaneous communications…

    someday it’ll be separated by a barrier between the mortal realm and… whatever world beyond… the afterlife… spirit realm… or whatever…

    I guess this is what my mom meant when she said she wanted to get married give birth to children… this same emptiness that I’m feeling…

    I might never find love in life :(

    Funny enough my older brother is also in China right now because mom pressured him to do marriage 🤣

    (My parents are arranged marriage btw)






  • Yes absolutely.

    If I had never immigrated to the US and remained in China, I’d probably be much less accepting of multiculturalism and less comfortable being around people of different races, and also probably less okay with LGBTQ

    Like… I doubt I’d be openly hateful… but in that environment, I’d never have the opportunity to be exposed to people to of different skin colors, and the culture would’ve reinforced the idea that: " LGBTQ = ‘weird’ "

    I’m kinda obsessed with this concept of these two timelines.

    There’s this timeline of “American Me” vs that other timeline of “Chinese Me”… of what could’ve been

    Like… imagine us two meeting… lmao

    Or perhaps there’s another version of me that arrived in the US even mych earlier… like at 1 year old or something (contrast with current timeline at 8 years old)…

    That version of me would probably be even more “American” and I’d perhaps lose a lot of my “Chinese” part of my identity…

    The trajectory of life… from just the difference of one visa stamp…

    I mean this obsession of alt-timelines is causing me so much existential crisis lol…






  • LMFAO

    My mom blamed us (me and my older brother) for “sitting too close to the TV”

    She kept us mostly locked indoors in an apartment (besides going to school) from the beginning of my memory up till 8 years old.

    Then we moved to the US and from 8 to 12 I was in school from morning (like 7 AM maybe? forgot the exact time) till like 6PM cuz she signed me up afterschool programs cuz she wanted to use it as free babysitting essentially so she can work longer…

    And we cant go outside alone without adults.

    In China it was “a lot of kidnappers on the street thay will traffic you and sell your organs”

    In the US it was “if you go outside without an adult, CPS will take you away and you can’t see mama again” (idk why mom spoke in 3rd person sometimes lol)

    Yay! so… from birth to 12 I was indoors, either in school or at home, most of the time…

    outdoor time was rare and only when parents have a day off or like the 15 minutes of recess in school…

    that’s basically our outside time…

    In China we had maternal grandma that sometimes took us outside…

    In the US, it was just mom, dad, older brother, and me (cuz grandma can’t come yet, no visa yet)… So we had even less outside time… like parenrs had to work all the time…

    But of course its always “too much screens!” to be blamed lmao

    From 8 to 12 was when my nearsightedness really developed a lot.

    I didn’t understand why I had nearsigntedness at the time, but now looking back and analyzing my life, now it’s so obvious why lol…

    My older brother has like -9.00 or -10.00 in the nearsightedness thing. Its funny my parents called it like 900 or 1000 “degrees”… like it sounds so much scarier when they drop the decimal point and literally say: “you’re about to have ONE THOUSAND DEGREES IN NEARSIGHTEDNESS! You’re gonna GO BLIND!”


  • Hey, you wanna visit my old neighborhood?

    I mean I’m not gonna give the exact address, but you can take a look at 广州大道北 梅花园 麦地西街

    The latest Baidu street view I found was in like 2014… so yea idk how it looks now…

    My mom and older brother is in China right now… they got their US Passports and the 10 year “visiting relatives” visa and they just left like on sunday (last sunday, that is)

    Apparanly my mom is pressuring my older brother to get married… lol (he’s like 28 or 29)…

    Mom and her friend network thing got bro and some girl added eacher other on Wechat and I think they’ve been chatting for a while… and now I guess they are about to meet or something… or perhaps if not a good match, then mom’s gonma pressure him to meet with other “marriage candidates”… lol

    As for me… I didn’t feel like visiting… Mom asked if I wanna come and I just was like “nah fam”

    Also why did she even ask lmfao, this trip is for my older brother to go pursue marriage plans… why the fuck would I tag along? lmfao, that is sooo fucking weird to do… even my older brother was like “wtf, dont let this annoying shit come” (paraphrased)

    (I mean I didn’t even have a valid passport lol, I just submitted the application for it yesterday at a post office)

    I have a bunch of stuff not backed up and am too internet addicted to chance VPNs not working and then youtube or other stuff blocked… I’d have withdrawl from that lol… too much stress for me…

    (And also a bit of the politcs thing, just feel kinda resentful towards the government)

    Mom and brother are staying with one of my aunts (aka: her sister) in Taishan…

    I asked them to check the internet thing but brother completely ignores me (not really on speaking terms right now) and mom is digitally illiterate to check for what websites work or not… or maybe she just doesn’t care since she’s so obsessed with trying to get my older brother to get into a marriage… cuz mom says if you wait, you will “never find anyone and die alone”… lmfao

    So… roaming… T-Mobile charges $0.25 for each minute of calling… but mom got the international pass for like $50 so its now unlimited… so I don’t have to install WeChat and make an account just to talk to her…

    So I just randomly call all the time and be like “MOOOMMM” 😅 (I mean if you don’t use the unlimited minutes, its going to waste lol)

    So yea, that’s my story, how’s everything going for you?


  • I was born Chinese and my family immigrated to the US when I was 8

    I post about this topic a lot here, so forgive me for being so repetative for those who might’ve already read this before, this is sort of just my platform for cartharisis…

    click if you actually wanna read this wall of text...

    I was born during the One Child Policy, I was the second child in my family, the government would catch women who are pregnant with their second child and force abortion on them.

    Mom was supposed to have a IUD which would’ve prevented my conception, but she never got it and left her hometown to a city (Guanzhou btw) for work… and because of jurisdictional issues or something like that, she just never went back to her home village for like 5 entire years. Honestly I don’t know if she even remember all the details… I mean it must’ve been traumatic for her. Repressed memories and all that stuff. One time she told me she forged a certificate about the IUD thing. But the other part of this was they would check fertile women for pregnancy every 3 months… I think this was only done for those that already had one child, but not too sure, mom didn’t elaborate much… but she told me she convinced another women to pretend to be her and show up to take the pregnacy test…

    So 5 years after my older brother was born, my parents conceived me…

    Then my mom told me that at month 7 or 8, someone noticed but turned a blind eye to it so didn’t report it.

    So yeah… that’s how I came into this world… allegedly, I mean I obviously cannot witness my own birth, so my parent’s account are the only people that are direct witness to the entire ordeal that I know of… I mean I do have an older brother and I do have memories of China and the One Child Policy is public knowledge… so that’s as much fact checking I could do… I’d just have to go by my mom’s account

    After I was born, I wasn’t allowed to be registered into the Hukou, which meanr that I effectively did not legally exist, until my parents paid the massive fine somewhetr between ¥20000 to ¥30000 rmb… (idk if they even remember the exact amount anymore… so long ago…) in around 2002 to 2010s, and it sounded like it was a lot from how my mom described it… they had to save every penny they had… I think they might’ve asked relatives or friends for money, possibly, but not sure… they didn’t really elaborate…

    So because of this… I feel rejected by China…

    The other thing is… I was born in Guangzhou, and even after the fines thing was settled… the other problem was that my parents were rural… so we were essentially second class residents in Guangzhou, we cannot get a Guangzhou Hukou… me and my older brother are not allowed in Guangzhou public schools, even though my parents worked in Guangzhou… so they had to pay for a separate shitty school that’s, according to mom, worse than public schools…

    So I also can’t really call my self a 廣州人 (Guangzhou-er) even though I can speak both Cantonese and Mandarin (sort of… now English has kinda taken over my brain)…

    So that’s the China story…

    Then the USA…

    Okay I don’t need to explain this one much…

    American-Born Chinese bullied me for being a weird kid that didn’t speak much English at first… then for non-Asians that I encounter… its racism, not everyone of course, but common enough to have this feeling of “rejection”

    I do have US Citizenship… so I should be feeling very “fitting in” here… I can speak English very close to a native speaker…

    But then we got a new sheriff in town… a second time… 🤦‍♂️ (y’all know who…)

    So yeah…

    Haven’t actually encountered ICE yet… but this is causing a lot of anxiety…

    The US is beautiful, but politics is so corrupted… ugh…

    Idk if it’s paranoia… but I feel kinda like very hyper vigilant if I’m in a predominantly white neighborhood…

    Haven’t seen a lynch mob yet… but the thought of it is kinda scary…